sunnuntai 27. helmikuuta 2011

Laura

Tarinamme sijoittuu Pirnaan.
Pieneen kaupunkiin, jota monikaan ei tiedä. Tiedätkö missä se on? Et. Hyvä niin.
Sitä sinun ei tarvitsekaan tietää.
Mutta kerron sen silti. Kertominen kun on niin jännittävää, vaikka kerrottava asia ei olisikaan.

Kylänpahasemme sijaitsee Elben rannalla. Tiedätkö mikä se on? Se on joki, joka lipuu käytännössä kaikkialla rauhallisesti ja tasaisesti Prahan kaupungista (kuvitelkaa! jopa Tsekin maalta asti!) Hampuriin ja kaikki se vesi päätyy loppujenlopuksi Atlantille. Hurjaa vai mitä?

Pirna on Elben rannalla ja se on juuri Saksan ja Tsekin rajalla. Saksanmaahan se kyllä kuuluu ihan kokonaisesti.

Joka tapauksessa. Tarina, jota lähden kertomaan sijoittuu siis Pirnaan, joka on yksinkertainen kaupunki vailla mutkattomuuksia. Toki silläkin on kuuluisa saksalaisille tyypillinen historiansa. Siellä on pari taloa, jotka ovat entisiä kaasukammioita. Siellä kaikki mielipuolet suihkutettiin luultavasti parempiin oloihin.

Lauraan Pirnan kaupungilla ei ollut käytännössä mitään vaikutusta. Moni muu kavahti kaupunkia, vaikka se ihan kaunis olikin. Mutta Laura ei tuntenut iloa, häpeää, eikä mitään siltä väliltä. Tänään hänellä oli nimittäin hirvittävä kiire. Niin kiire, että huima nopeus, jolla maapallo kiertää aurinkoa, ei riittäisi sitä kuvaamaan. Lauran piti ehtiä valokuvaajalle. Valokuvaajalle, joka kuvaisi hänet.

Hän juoksi Pirnan valkoisen kirkon viertä. Puut Pirnan kaduilla ajattelivat kirkon olevan kovin itsepäinen ja tahditon. Minkä takia mahtava kiviseinäinen, valkoiseksi rapattu kirkko, jonka ikkunat olivat korkeat ja kivillä reunustettu, oli juuri Pirnassa, jolla oli kamala historia. Kyllä puut sen tietävät. Ne olivat olleet siellä jo ennen kuin ne keltaiset talot oli rakennettu metsän laitaan. Ja ne talothan olivat siis hirvittäviä. Sen tiesivät kaikki puut juuriaan myöten ja kun ne edes ajattelivatkaan savua, joka leijaili kaupungin yllä, sai niiden lehdet havisemaan puistatuksen tunteesta, joka levisi juurista latvaan saakka.

Valokuvaajalle ei päässyt kovinkaan usein. Siellä käytiin harvoin ja vain hyvästä syystä. Lauralla oli syy, ehkä ei. Syy odotti valokuvaamolla. Pieni ja värikkäin ikkunalaudoin somistettu liike oli parisen kymmentä metriä torilta itään päin. Lähempänä Puolaa kuin Belgiaa siis. Puolasta Laura piti. Puolan kansallispuvut kun olivat niin nättejä. Mutta Puolassa oli kuulemma paljon varkaita. Laura inhosi pahoja ihmisiä ja hänen mielestään varkaat luokiteltiin niihin. Siksi reissu Puolan kalseuteen sai odottaa. Hän menisi sinne sitten, kun varkaat olisi unohdettu.

Kello soi kun Laura astui sisään. Tuuli oli leikkinyt hänen hiuksensa sotkuisiksi ja häntä hieman nolostutti ja jopa punastutti katsoa itseään peilistä. Sormillaan hän yritti kuitenkin haroa mahongin ruskeat hiuksensa takasin korvien taakse ja yritti rauhoittaa punaisen värin pois poskiltaan. Punaisella sävyllä tuntui olevan pakkomielle Lauraan. Sitä yritettiin aina häätää pois, mutta jotenkin se tuntui roikkuvan perässä.

Laura oli itsenäinen nainen. Hän nautti elämästään, vaikka monen mielestä elämä näyttikin tylsältä. Laura näki pienet turhat asiat kauniina. Semmoisetkin, joita muut vieroksuivat. Hän tiesi, että maailmassa oli miehiä, joihin ei tule luottaa. Hän tiesi, että jokaista ei voi rakastaa. Silti hän loukkaantui joka kerta, kun näki miehen. Mutta Laura oli itsenäinen. Hän ei välittänyt.

Häntä ei rakastettu, mutta se tarjosi helpotuksen, että hänenkään ei tarvinnut rakastaa ketään.

tiistai 15. helmikuuta 2011

secrets

There are two things that I hate and love at the same time.
1) smoking
2) tattoos
My relationship to them is quite incredible. Usually you hate or love them.
But I do love both of them.


Smoking
When I was a kid I hated smokers so much. The moment when I saw someone smoking - something grew insinde of me. The rage would be a perfect word to describe the situation. It was pure madness.


But then something changed.
My friends started to smoke and I couldn't help it. Of course I was indignant at the beginning but then I just needed to accept the fact that most of my friends were smokers. And in Germany I had... Well, one friend who didn't smoke - and believe me when I say that I had tons of friends.


All the great people who were smoking. God they were thin. God they were smart. God I wanted to look like them. It wasn't the cigarette in their fingers that was so attractive. They all knew how to play an instrument, they all loved book and they all believed in love that had no limits. Oh my god they were gorgeous.

If you smoke:
- You'll probably get so many new friends. Do you have a cigarette? How long have you been smoking? The favorite cigarette?
- You can't judge anyone. You are the smoker, you are the bad ass. That's why you could be a good friend.
- You look like you have a story to tell.
- You actually can look pretty artistic.


My mother loves me. And I love her.
She told me that smoking is a really bad habit.
When I was 3 years old I promised myself I'll never smoke in my life.

I've never smoked. Never tried it.
But now... I'm pretty close to do it.


Tattoos

Again - my mum said that they are horrible.
I would never get a proper job if I had tattoos.
I would be a loser with no future.


But today I can actually see the beauty of them.
They have stories and I love stories. I love them more than anything.
You know that.



The tattoo above is amazing. If I were skinny I would so get that.
The size of the tattoo shows that she must be brave.
The tattoo says that she loves the world.
One day I will be skinny and I will have something like that...




maanantai 14. helmikuuta 2011

3rd today..

Oh the Places You'll Go!   (by Dr. Seuss)

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you!

YOU ASSHOLE!

WHY AREN'T YOU HERE!
I HATE YOU!

thank you.

ichliebemichoderetwas

I miss him.
I miss him so much.
I wish he would be sleeping next to me and rubbing my back.
I wish I could hear his breathing right next to my ear.
I need that moment now.
I need someone to be close.

The thing is that... I feel so sorry for those who don't know what I'm talking about.
That's why I should be happy that I know what I'm missing.
There are so many people who just don't know.
I will sleep and he will sleep.
We both are just sleeping.
So innocent and calm.
Alarm. Why?
I want to hug him. I want to touch him.
I feel like cuddling. Is it too much? no - it can't be
Tomorrow I want to drink tea. Liters of it. Or I don't know.
I know I should eat breakfast. Like really eat and enjoy it.
Enjoy the gorgeous moment of eating.

Tomorrow is going to be like hell.
I wish he would be here.
My nose could touch his cheek.
I miss his beard and how it feels so rough against my neck.
God i miss him.

But the point is - I don't even know who I'm talking about.

perjantai 11. helmikuuta 2011

europe with love!

I don't know why but today I have been thinking of France.
Just imagine - the whole day your mind is talking to you in French and you don't get a word.
It's pretty cool.
Like exchange again!

Why I don't have time to learn French??
Just asking? 
Tomorrow after work I will go to my favorite cafe and read. And maybe I will meet a guy.
But if I don't - I really don't care.






perjantai 4. helmikuuta 2011

30 things...

a photo of you.

The blond one. It's me. Yes. Shocked.
SORRY!


a photo of yourself at least a year ago.


Just say "German" and I'll get you a beer.
Serious.
This picture was taken exactly one year ago.
I seemed to be thinner.
And I was cool.


a photo that makes you happy.



Like the best weekend ever. God I miss all of us. Even I lost myself six months ago. But no worries - I'm trying to find myself again!

a photo of a place you'd like to visit.


Natürlich will ich nach Australien! And Perth would be a nice place to end up :)


a photo that makes you laugh.



The point of this picture was "JUMP!" And we all most managed to do that. But anyways - I love this photo. So many funny memories. So many gorgeous seconds. Amazing.


a photo of someone you love.



And they really do ask who I love?
This girl. I think she is the only reason why I'm still alive. We walked through shit and snow and we both are still on earth instead of hell. I'm still trying to figure it out...


a photo of someone you miss.


If I could see her now. I would... A) kiss her B) love her C) never let her go again.
No - I'm not a lesbian but I miss her to death and I hate the fact that one of my best friends lives so fucking far away.



a photo of your favorite band/musician.



I'm not sure if he's famous or anything. But my ears love his voice and the way he is playing like child with his guitar. I like people who like music.


any photo you like for any reason.


Bautzen. Germany. Lots of hugs and love. I think that it was a weekend when everyone was happy.
That doesn't happen too often.



a photo of a night you loved.


This is one of those "great nights". I honestly have no idea what happened but the situation was pretty bad next morning at 5 am. My friend had lost her keys to home, my friend was bleeding really badly, my feet were in pain, and my camera was somewhere. And I accidentally made out with a guy who was nine years older than me. But the night was hilarious! I think it was in Lichtenberg... Germany again!



a photo of when you were happy.



When you are standing on the top of the mountain somewhere in the Alps, between Austria and Italy... You just can't be sad! We climbed, we froze and we laughed. What else can you expect?


a photo of one of your favorite movies.



I LOVE THIS MOVIE!
and if you haven't seen it i force you to go to a store and by this amazing film.
Yann Tiersen is an angel.


a photo of your best friend (s).



Like a friend of mine said: D1880, klein aber stark!


a photo of you and a family member.



I love my mum. She's just amazing. She is great.
Sometimes I hate her but I think it's normal.
I love her.




a photo from a trip you'll never forget.



11 countries in 21 days? We fucking did it! We were 57 from 17 different countries so.
I feel so sorry for those who don't understand the beauty of this world.


a photo of your town.


It's not my town. But I wish it was. My heart will always stay in Dresden. I can travel without it but I'm always glad to see it again.


a photo of last summer.


We went 250 km by bikes. We were dead. But Dresden was there for us!



a photo of something you ate today.



Boring but... Tee?

a photo of somebody you find attractive.



Just can't decide which one is hotter....
this is the best picture ever!


a photo that you associate a good memory with.



Du riechst so geil Berlin...


a photo of something you want to do someday.


Well you know what I want!


a photo of what you want to be when you grow up.



A writer. I just need ideas. And more time. And a place. I need everything.


a photo that inspires you.



1) It's in Dresden
2) It's blue
3) It's weird.


a photo of your favorite subject in school.



!!!


a photo of something you are looking forward to.



Less than a month!


a photo of something/somebody that made your day.


She calls me :) And makes me happy :) Makes me smile :)


a photo of your favorite person from history.


Lame but... It's Columbus!


a photo you find beautiful


Sienna, Italy.