secrets

There are two things that I hate and love at the same time.

1) smoking

2) tattoos

My relationship to them is quite incredible. Usually you hate or love them.

But I do love both of them.

Smoking
When I was a kid I hated smokers so much. The moment when I saw someone smoking - something grew insinde of me. The rage would be a perfect word to describe the situation. It was pure madness.

But then something changed.
My friends started to smoke and I couldn't help it. Of course I was indignant at the beginning but then I just needed to accept the fact that most of my friends were smokers. And in Germany I had... Well, one friend who didn't smoke - and believe me when I say that I had tons of friends.

All the great people who were smoking. God they were thin. God they were smart. God I wanted to look like them. It wasn't the cigarette in their fingers that was so attractive. They all knew how to play an instrument, they all loved book and they all believed in love that had no limits. Oh my god they were gorgeous.

If you smoke:

- You'll probably get so many new friends. Do you have a cigarette? How long have you been smoking? The favorite cigarette?

- You can't judge anyone. You are the smoker, you are the bad ass. That's why you could be a good friend.

- You look like you have a story to tell.

- You actually can look pretty artistic.

My mother loves me. And I love her.
She told me that smoking is a really bad habit.
When I was 3 years old I promised myself I'll never smoke in my life.

I've never smoked. Never tried it.
But now... I'm pretty close to do it.


Tattoos

Again - my mum said that they are horrible.
I would never get a proper job if I had tattoos.
I would be a loser with no future.

But today I can actually see the beauty of them.
They have stories and I love stories. I love them more than anything.
You know that.

The tattoo above is amazing. If I were skinny I would so get that.
The size of the tattoo shows that she must be brave.
The tattoo says that she loves the world.
One day I will be skinny and I will have something like that...