Reality

The word peace created a wonderful conversation between me and my friend.
Just read and love it.
It's actually pretty awesome.

he: peace
she: and love
he: and happiness
she: and no war
he: and freedom
she: and flowers
he: and nice presidents
she: and smiles
he: and no panic
she: and lots of travellers!
she: and cool sun glasses!
he: and music
he: and sex
he: and drugs
he: and passion
she: and alcohol
she: and friends
he: and cigarettes
she: and sinns
she: and gods
he: and truths
he: and devils
she: and angels
she: and sun
he: and lovers
she: and pictures
he: and moon
she: and stars
he: and clouds
she: and gras
he: and rain
she: and elephants
he: and zebras
she: and air
he: and sand
she: and trees
he: and kindness
he: and no money
she: and books
she: and kids
she: and colors
he: and pencils
he: and paper
he: and guitars
she: and mountains
he: and pianos
he: and harmonicas
she: and bushes
she: and shoes
she: and apples
he: and creativity
she: and languages
he: and strawberries
she: and fields forever
he: and fog
she: and lucy and penny
he: and you
she: and you
she: (and your dog)
he: =)
she: i actually knew that you were smiling
she: and i know that you want to write something but you don't know what
she: but it's okay
she: because it's cool
he: ..
he: =*
she: :)

It's great to have friends. Eventhough they live so far away.
But the best thing is
     I finally realized how all this beauty is my reality

Dear memory.

Wait until I'm free. Or live your life but be prepared that I'll be there.
Do stupid stuff and get over it easily.

Think that I'm going to be one of those people who you see on that day.

and the sun will shine. and everything is pretty. and nobody doubts anything.

and then i'll tell you that i'll be gone pretty soon. like really soon.

and you won't be worried because you won't understand what i'm saying and you are hearing.

and it's going to be such a fragile moment that only i can recognize.

and i'm going to enjoy it so much.

and also the ground under my feet and the air in my nose. and they all are going to be pleased since there's going to be two feet less to erode the dirt and one nose less to consume our minor storage of O-two.

Suddenly I'm going to say goodbye and walk away. Maybe I'll have some followers - maybe not. I actually hope that I'm going to walk the last walk alone. So that you won't be able to blame anyone.

I hope I can make it till I'm 25. After that it's going to be ease.

The air floating in your ears. And the water in your eyes. And there's going to be so many red things. Red clouds which make me happy. Maybe a little bit white. White flowers. I think I could like them.

Just remember that I'm going to be there and then I'll go away. And that moment should be beautiful.

When you leave your guitar, remember that you'll get her back and she will help you.

Your guitar is your best friend.

And best friends never leave to a land of red clouds.

GUESS WHAT?

I'M BACK!

So. Why am I back and was I even somewhere?
For a month now i've been travelling in my soul. In my big dark (sometimes it's bright!) head which is covered with golden hair. Well actually it's so not golden. But the word "golden" makes it sound pretty cool, doesn't it?
Since I haven't been abroad for ages the trip in my head was awesome!
There were a couple of things I didn't even know that they existed!
But as every trip has to end some day,  my trip ended with a massive explosion that probably changed my life. The last day of my trip was great and sad at the same time, should I say.

So. What's new in my head?
There are still two eyes and two ears and even my teeth are the same! But under that "golden" hair is so much more than I though. Or I didn't know what else there could be.
I found tons of great thoughts and opinions and aims and all that kind of cool crap!
Like seriously! Even though i'm a fat, stupid Finn, I still have so many cool ideas!
And when I returned back from The Head of Mine, I kind of sat down front of my computer and was like: OH MY GOSH I'M FREAKING AWESOME!
May sound hilarious but I think that's what it should sound.
So let us think that this is all normal and great.

So. What are my new ideas?
Let's say it in pictures:

Yep my lovely readers!

I realized that I actually AM allowed to travel! I have holidays, I can skip school if I really have to and I have money - the most important: I have friends. And it took 3 seconds to understand that I'm a human and I SHOULD see my friends more often. So what I did: I fucking bought tickets to the Country of Maple Sirup - to CANADA! Proud of my? Yep!

And... In a month I'm going to Germany. I love travelling, I love my friends, i love German, so why not? So here's the thing:

#1 You are allowed to do what you really enjoy!

The other great thing to think is the huge world of relationships that we enter every day at the exact same second we wake up. Who do I want to see today? Who should I try to avoid? With who am I going to go to a party? Who is sleeping next to me?

I decided that I'm not going to avoid anyone. They may avoid me if they want to keep the distance but I'm so not going to walk away from anyone. But what I decided is that I'm going to spend my time with those people who I really like.

I like people who make me see pictures like these:

I'm not going to waste my time with people who don't make me happy. I want to be a happy girl and friends who do NOT make me happy are actually doing everything else than helping. Thus there are tons of gorgeous people, I want to be happy.
I'm fucking going to be happy every day.

#2 Hang out with those who actually make YOU feel happy


I should write more stuff tomorrow.
I'm way too tired.

Just wanted to say that i love my life.